Processing

Every time I move and shake up my immediate surroundings there's an adjustment period. My self-expression (visual art (mostly), writing (recently), and complaining (always)). Are put on hold as my brain pieces my new environmental stimuli back into something understandable. It's like when you watch a video on your computer and you skip ahead. Sometimes what first appears when it begins to play at the new location is jumbled, pixilated mess that slowly pulls itself into shape to reveal the scene hidden and distorted within.

Even when I moved only a few blocks the shift and subsequent restart took some time. I am essentially a reactionary. I react. And I turn those reactions into some kind of art. When the input changes the output changes, but it takes sometime to figure out what the new reaction is. Going to university and working in a shared studio was a big change but eventually was the main influence on what I was doing, from either commenting directly on other students work, using other students discarded work as a starting point for my own, or, equally reactionary, doing something as unconnected as possible from what my peers were doing. When I moved into my studio after graduating all that input disappeared and six months or more passed before I could do anything new. My job at a furniture store and associating with more fashion conscious people began to be an important influence on my paintings. Of course, this was probably so chewed up and neurotically strained and filtered by my brain as to be far less than obvious to anyone but myself. Nonetheless…

Moving to Japan was like waking up in an unfamiliar place, staring up at the unrecognizable ceiling. A few seconds of absolute panic before you slowly recall where you slept the night and that all is fine. Like that. Everyday. So the adjustment period was long and painful. I drew a bit when I arrived but everything seemed wrong. I was on a beautiful tropical beach but I was still wearing my long underwear and toque. I had to change. It took over a year and really it wasn't until I came back to Canada that I could really focus my mind. Those of you reading who have been to Nagasaki will agree that it is a visual mess. A jumble of buildings, power lines, and mountains that doesn't lend itself to a quick reckoning.

All this to say that in some ways things have not become that much clearer and writing the last installment of my Battle Hymn series is turning out to be tougher than I thought. Hang on, it's coming…..