What's That Smell?

I am, by no means, a stinky man. However, one can always smell better. I conducted a quick random telephone survey in tandem with some more practical research (involving a lot of uncomfortable bending) and have compiled my findings in the chart below. Knowing where the problem lies is the best way to begin to address it. For example, I thought that Feet would have ranked higher. Clearly I should cut back on my foot spray expenditures and drastically increase my ass/crotch spray expenditures (or are those best bought as two separate sprays?). Although Mouth ranked third it did receive the highest number of first place votes. Therefore toothbrush and toothpaste will remain a strong part of my daily destinking regimen. As for more "blanket" solutions such as cologne or its more in-your-face cousin, body spray, I intend to do some research into just how gay and/or douchey that would make me.

Research in Emotion

I have been conducting some informal polling and research. I hope to make the results available over the next few weeks. Some results were surprising while others only serve to reinforce long held beliefs. The chart above should give you a good idea of the struggles I face on a daily basis.  The results are funny within +/- 4%. The numbers do not lie.