What's That Smell?

I am, by no means, a stinky man. However, one can always smell better. I conducted a quick random telephone survey in tandem with some more practical research (involving a lot of uncomfortable bending) and have compiled my findings in the chart below. Knowing where the problem lies is the best way to begin to address it. For example, I thought that Feet would have ranked higher. Clearly I should cut back on my foot spray expenditures and drastically increase my ass/crotch spray expenditures (or are those best bought as two separate sprays?). Although Mouth ranked third it did receive the highest number of first place votes. Therefore toothbrush and toothpaste will remain a strong part of my daily destinking regimen. As for more "blanket" solutions such as cologne or its more in-your-face cousin, body spray, I intend to do some research into just how gay and/or douchey that would make me.

JD Salinger

It's probably not special, nor original, nor very cool to like JD Salinger and it may betray my scant reading history and superficial literary knowledge, but I do like JD Salinger. I actually just finished reading "Raise High the Roof Beam..." for the second time and it was just as impressive as when I read it back when I was 19. What I could say about " Catcher in the Rye" could be and will be said by millions of other people but it's my blog so tough shit, here it goes.


I read a  book about a guy who is frustrated with everything, who is angry that the world isn't and will never be the way he wants it to be. He detests what he sees around him, his friends, his teachers, and himself. He turns everything outward and and when it comes back at him he feels betrayed and singled out. The only person he likes and respects is his little sister.  I read it when I was 16. How perfect is that?


He keeps bringing up day dreams of ideal worlds he could see himself living happily in. They all lack the unending pressure of interacting with others according to the arbitrary rules that we all slowly, to our disappointment and disgust , discover will govern our lives. You can't opt out and that realisation hits some of us harder than others. I still have these day dreams on a regular basis.


When my high school class read "Catcher in the Rye", everyone learned a new word: obnoxious. Holden was obnoxious. I wondered if they just felt that this was how they should react to an admittedly flawed character. I didn't admire him but I deeply understood him. Didn't they? Did they understand the book? Did they really despise this character that I felt mirrored so many of my thoughts, fears, and disappointments? If so, I was in the wrong place with the wrong people. (I would eventually, and painfully, realise that there is no right place). What was more troubling was that my identification with and defense of Holden in classroom discussions was used to mock and berate me. (though I kind of had it coming) I thought if there was anything we could all agree on is that being a teenager sucked, and none of us were happy being stuck where we were with little control or understanding of our lives. Perhaps the only thing we could bond over was turned into an insult and a joke. And much like Holden did, I reacted in an non-constructive manner (to put it mildly).


I read it again 10 years later and I cried like a baby several times. The time in my life I read it and what I went through (put my self through) in the subsequent years was brought to the surface over and over. It was exhausting. But, I may be ready to read it again. Thank you Mr.Salinger.




JD Salinger Dies at 91

Research in Emotion

I have been conducting some informal polling and research. I hope to make the results available over the next few weeks. Some results were surprising while others only serve to reinforce long held beliefs. The chart above should give you a good idea of the struggles I face on a daily basis.  The results are funny within +/- 4%. The numbers do not lie.

Battle Hymn of the Apartment (4b)

"Luminous" Meinohama, Fukuoka, Japan - When you stop caring, you often do your best work. Or at least the most enjoyable work. I remember a hockey game when I was in Bantam. It was either in a tournament or actually more likely a one- off exhibition game. We were playing against St.Bruno and thus were expected to win, being from the big city (Jonquiere) and all. My defensive partner and I decided it would be fun to play the whole game skating like goalies. You know, short, stomping strides. I think we also yelled out ridiculous words or sounds whenever we went into the corner with an opposing player. That worked surprisingly well, throwing them off guard and taking them out of the play. Much more effective than my 110 lbs. body checks. The other guy gave up skating silly after a while but I kept it up for most of the game.I probably enjoyed myself more that game than almost any other I played. I usually couldn't enjoy the games in the moment for reasons including, but not limited to, my over-competetiveness, being surrounded by teenage boys and adult hockey coaches (both members of intersecting sets) who are generally assholes, the pressure of my father watching from the stands, and general teenage unhappiness. I scored a goal and got two assists.

My time in Meinohama was kind of bonus time. After deciding to leave Nagasaki, the company I was working for asked me to fill in for a couple of months in Meinohama, a part of Fukuoka city just on the outer reaches of the center of the city (NDG like?maybe further out than that?Not rich but nice and family oriented while still only 15 minutes on the subway from downtown.). I said I'd do it as long as I could still take a planned trip to Vietnam. They said sure and threw in some extra cash, and a free apartment. Ok! You win!

 Compared to Nagasaki the apartment was huge. The bathroom and the kitchen were nowhere near each other and where I slept and where I ate almost felt like two different rooms. Clean, bright and despite there being no restaurants or bars within walking distance it was a pretty good place to live.

I came back from Vietnam bearded, tanned, and refreshed. At the new school I had no obligations toward or entanglements with the staff or the students and I could just teach unencumbered. It was nice to be in a city again as well. If I could live anywhere, it would be Fukuoka. Perfect size, beaches, weather, conveniences, hot ladies, and good food. Relaxed and happy, I realized I like teaching, quite a bit. I'm good at it. It seems to be a useful thing to do. It makes some difference in people's lives and allows you to do a bit of thinking. Not bad at all.